im in my mthafckn prime

these are the days ill Definitely remember when im 40 and my seeds are doggin me for the way i dance. hahahah but thats FINE WITH ME! ill out dance the shit out of them. in an old school fashion! haha

fuck..
everything is so bomb right now ad i REALLY REALLY want to share it all with someone that'd be my 'it' girl for the time being. haha
but fckit! anyways

im on mthafckn Fire!
check me out man













DUDE! hahaha youv gotta understand though. i dont get drunk!
haha
i just Buzzz it up and then dance it all off. im not frontin. hahaaha
drunk is new years and i was dizzy and throwing up. haha i dont go that far.
not until my bday at least. hahah yesss!!!!!!!


so anyways!
fck! i never thought id be where i am now.
working at a credit union, wearing a tie.
hahahaa partying damn near weekendly

DUDE! speaking of. haha 2 weeknds ago i barely came home!! it was SOOO raddd! haha gah it was magical in a sense, and i was SOO drained by monday but all i could think was 'fuck. i just lived!' haha its allll good! haha ive got SOOOO MUCH MORE TO SAY! but idk what/how to say it anymore!!!!!

fuuck. ive been spending like STUPID. asif im not suffering from this recession myself.. but hell...i just know how to save my money for what i want thats all. hahaha
so yeah.......
my back to ny trip is in the works!
and its lookin Stupid! hahahaha
i just paid off my epic one weeker.
and now part 2 is in production!
but this time ill be goin with thee broglia boys :)



them be mah boyzz. haha godbrothers thanks to papa richard and mama B!

man oh man..how much family means to me!
its disgusting how much! haha im greedy with fam baby! haah ill take ALll the fam i can get!!! i love being a part of something as amazing as family. its damn near euphoric..

but anyways..
the last trip costed me
$1,038.70

for a round trip
and a week here at the



Gorgeous hole in the wall. aka Hotel Riverside Studios
on W. 71st Street, 10023
:)

but sofar the plan in talks
is lookin like
$304.20 for around trip via

and then staying at
the Loews New York. for half the price???


haha but we'll HELLA have to see about that one!
haha
iiidk.  not much is set in stone yet. but i know for damn sure ill be going in that area.




so yeah....
i have SO MUCH TO SAY IN MY BLOGS when i think about them while driving my natalie. but now that im here..haha i gots nthn...
ive realized though that i speak alot more about whats going on.
and i dont like it.
straight up. haha im doing what i dont support doing. which is talking about me. id rather listen to Your shit because its so much more important. haha
i hate talking because then one wants to help..comforting words..which are just unnecessary.. its all the same...I AM VERY GREATFUL for everything my people provide me..
but shish..id rather just deal with sht my own way. because im pretty done hearing 'just wait, she'll come along' or 'you can do so much better' or 'i cant help but run' fck all of that shit.
man up i say. hahahahha
but i musn't go into that. i wouldnt want to offend.. haha
thats not my fort'e ;)
but i would like to vent my frustrations with females..
:)
i bet you would like me too now wouldnt you?

but nope.
not gonna happen because then history will just repeat itself as it has with ones in the past few months.
so im gonna leave it with. fck the confusion bs. leave me alone

so anyways.
music! MUSIC! is on its shit right now!
haha i do believe hip hop is back :)

i mean we have

Kid Cudi (yes, hes the reason i own a fedora ;) )
and he is Dope at what he does. haha
he is the latest business next to the cool kids..they were my 1st 'awwh man!' sht!
and now i have him to coincide with. haha

get the Cudi shit right here america

A Kid Named Cudi



Dat Kid from Cleveland
DO IT!


and then i have theeee Cool Kids. and they just represent alot of i stand for..
Originality hahahahaha
































:) idk how to start..theyr just so amazing haha

DON CANNON AND THE COOL KIDS - GONE FISHIN' from zachwolfe.com/live on Vimeo.

 
so fckit! i say just download some shit!
 


Gone Fishing


That's Stupid


Winterfresh


thee Bake Sale (that one youd have to buy, or ask me for :)


:) haha so thats enough promotion for now..
although a few honorable mentions that i feel should be publicized would have to be:

first i have to say q-tip: the Renaissance

is some STRAIGHT hip hop sht..its amazing. i sleep to that sht and bump it in the mornings

next comes (MF) Doom: Born Like This

gah..this IS dooms album! haha oh my fck..it gave me chills when i first heard it! i went from a doom fan to a fckn doom enthusiast! hahaha

and 3rd is a simple cd. but SO much better than i believe its getting the attention for
and that one is

88 Keys: the Death of Adam

haha classic shit. handcuff em is currently my ringtone! haha
but other than that..its a bomb ass cd with a comedic sex theme to it.

so thats enough for music!
where do i go from here!

so i totally just got home from hanging out with my newly acquired friends.
acquired through all of these damned parties ridge throws. and i must say. it felt good to hang and kick it with new faces.

its funny. ive been doing this blog since i got home from work around 6ish. haha it is now 11 and i still feel like i havent said enough..

so this new cool kids tape is so fckn dope..the whole thing in its whole. haha its nuts.. i love cds that i can bump the whole way though.
like last nights commit this to memory..
or panics fever you cant sweat out..
and qtips renaissance..

haha Renaissance is such a cool word..

so yeah..
where am i?
i am on top like a Fedora.
oh god i love that fckn hat. haha
and SOO does everyone else :) its a slutty hat. haha but i love the attention it gets.
everyone wants to try it on. and shit. Most of the people that do, look good in it!
haha im suprised that i Still have it! haha because i never wanted to buy of my own because it wouldnt mean as much to me as it would if i'd simply 'borrowed' it from a friend. haha and thats what i think is gonna happen with this one. but thats thee beauty of it!
someday. most likely it'll be a female. is going to wear it. and at the end of the night she'll be like please let me just take it home i promise ill give it back!
and of course ill say yes..why not? haha and then she will. and from there.
it can either: be something that she'll keep forever and every time she wears it someone will compliment her on it and she'll remember the night she acquired it.
OR
her best friend will lift it from her and so on. and the hat will see more in life than i have. haha
which is also fine with me..that stuff interests me! yanno?
jst what if! what if one day i run into a nobody. someone id never seen in my life. someone i just plain ass run into. at a mall or at fckn... smiths haha and i say hey nice hat :) andit runs though my mind 'that is JUST like the hat i had' and ill think of alll of the memories behind it, and then be on with my life as normal.
only for them to say thank you! and then remember allll of the memories that they have through that same hat..

impossible stupid and farfetched. i know. but owell! haha i can think SO much deeper than that.
haha trust me..
alls i ever do is think..hell i officially over think shit.
ive messed up simple commands at work because it just seemed too easy and i thought about a logical way to do it and ended up FUCKIN shit up! haaha
which is okay with me...i like knowing and being aware of alll of the outcomes to an issue..i believe ive touched on this in previous blogs..but who reads those anyways? haha
so yeah....it isnt like seeing the future..its more of...letting one thing lead to another in your mind.. like a playbook. possibilities and situations..

my eyes are blaring..and now its time to move on. haha
hmm..its 1130 now my readers.

so ive removed the biggest obsticle in my life in the last month and ill tell you..its been fckn crazy, its hard to go from texting one ALL day to nothing..only to start doing it again with others..but just not as....not as good. that person is definitely irreplacable..but thats fine..i just wont.. i just need to find a better alternative.

 
but sheesh. haha ill tell you! no one is biting.
i swear im cursed. cursed with being too... idk.. not shitty.
ive had many conversations with one about why id be an okay choice to..idk be with i guess? and can only see it as a waste of time when i see how uninterested they are.

i wont go into it. haha its funny. i can talk about ANYTHING in life.. but i hate talking about my love life because its so stupid and pitiful.
i still do it..as least as i can..but it just shows. haha ive changed a smidge. but im okay with it in a sense. id just rather not talk about it at all. that way when i DO share with someone..its a bit more special because then maybe they'll understand how much it takes to get...'in'? i guess? idk. i dont have defensive walls..i just dont feel the need to share certain things with someone thats just going to listen to what i say and be done with it..
thats a waste to me. id rather confide with one and leave it in their hands to realize that im really worth a try.. im not a salesman, and the last thing im going to sell is myself..
ill let who i am do all the talking. fck an act. and folks seeem to like me? but never fail to present 'you deserve better' and 'just wait for her'
1. who are you to judge?
and
2. im not exactly dating around am i?
now i sound ungrateful..haha and thats not the case.. ive only heard that since the beginning of high school. haha
ive just realized that i went into it a bit! hahaha OVER IT!!!!!
 
is how i feel about it! :)

so ANYWAYS! gah im hungry man. haha i weigh 154-156 lately! haha i see a difference btwn 156 and 150! haha i fill out my tank top a little bit more..hahahaha
and NO i dont sit and stare at a mirror all day...theres just one in front of the damn toilet...hahaah awkward? haha oh i know it. hahahhaaha but owell. its only comedy


sooo..i totally ebay'd a ps3 the other day! haha got the bitch used for 250..it aint all that serious..i just REALLY REALLY want to play mlb 09...










































haha i may know what your thinking....
and i say fckoff! haha i know how to save..thats all. and american express has a pretty cool rewards system..but owell. haha you can think whatcha want. thats the fun part :)

hmm..
so whats now....you probably feel like your wasting your time. but thats okay! i appreciate you reading my bullshit. you may have learned something about me that you would have never found out verbally? maybe ive confirmed something for you? or maybe your bored at work or home and seen that i posted a blog and decided to see what was going on in my world..either way! i appreciate your time. your radd. annd...i think im almost done here..

so been working on a list lately. its a me list..and i treat it like a little notepad that wallflowers jot on whenever they have an intriguing thought..haha but it goes into thee bold
i call it the Fact Sheet:
Danny Ray _ Born on September 1, 1988. a Thursday

· I’m a push over

· I don’t judge

· I don’t do bestfriendship

· I’m pickier than you

· I’m not whats considered 'normal'

· I do what the fck I want

· I still don’t really know myself

· Simply lemonade is my anti drug

· Kanye makes a lot of sense in my life

· I live off of everything bad for you

· Im uninspired and ok with it for the most part

· I’m random. But funny sometimes

· I’m hopelessly hopeful

· I talk a lot. But not to hear my own voice. I just have a lot to say

· I don’t party alot (but i still do)

· I keep to myself

· I give advice and honest input when asked for it

· i dont take my own advice

· I hate outfits with 50 diff colors that all end up matching.

· I say things, just to say them

· I’m afraid of what can happen in the dark, in certain context

· I take pride in being an amex member

· I’m still shy when it comes to females

· Comic books and technology get me off

· I get over shit quickly

· I still geekout to marvel and other nerdy things

· I show my true colors and hide nothing at all times for the sake of deception

· I gets down to old school

· Facial hair is one of the coolest parts of my life

· My cunty cat and I have thee greatest in existence btwn 2 life forms

· My iPod and cellular phonezi are my children

· I don’t hold myself any higher than any human other being. unless they are just..unacceptable

· I’m a whiteboy at heart

· I have an addiction to candy. I do it for the taste..

· I live to music lines and movie quotes

· I mumble in sarcasm and wit

· I live my life based on family and spontaneous decisions

· I do believe that all of my worthless struggles will one day pay off..

· My train of thoughts on a fast track

· I lose my train of thought in an instant

· I’m easy to get along with

· I’m making this list as I go adding things as I think of them/ or as im told

· I hate love in a loving way

· I like taking and editing pictures with no cause

· I’m convinced I’m built for better things

· I suck at pursuing things that matter most

· Time is a pain in the ass

· Growing up is lame

· Taking life too seriously isn’t fun

· Fun comes first.

· I like smiling

· I’m broke

· I’m quite contradictory

· I love american apparel in a non indie fashion

· My favorite animal is the chameleon.

· Nothing suprises me anymore

· I spend too much time in my head

· I don’t really have anything to live for besides my family

· I suck at sleeping

· My fav. Color is heathered grey

· I’m a basic and boring person

· I’ve been depressed before, and I’m never going back

· I dance and rock out in my car. Frequently

· I can appreciate anyone that represents the struggle and isn’t victim to it

· If I consider you my people then I’m out to take care of you if when and how I can

· Funfetti is happyness in food form

· Experience is my best teacher

· I’m too nice for my own era

· I’m the one to run from

· I support the Old School to the fullest

· I love to help

· I think that I can be a genuine person

· I’ve become quite conflicted lately

· i wish i were an important artist

· I bloody love cinnamon

· I do pointless shit when I’m lonely, like drive around vegas, and wonder smiths for no reason

· Living in new york is the only True dream that I have, my heart belongs there

· I’d give anything to be able to roam the streets of manhattan and brooklyn again

· I’d rather just lay with someone all day

· im a slimfit skinnyboy

· I hate believing in love

· I hate being told that I don’t understand

· I hate conversations involving politics and religion

· I don’t have a type. just preferences

· I’m easy to please.

· It prolly isn’t worth it

· When I say I’m over it, I’m prolly not

· I don’t believe in building my hopes

· I’ve been let down a whole lot

· I love sex

· Truth is: I don’t think it’ll ever hit me that I won’t ever see my Mother again..

· fact: i wish i had someone to call mine

· i have big hands

· Sometimes I just don’t care yanno?

· Fact is: I hate independence

· There is no method to my madness

· I don’t like being an asshole, but I have no issue with being one if need be

· I like to play fight

· I lost my ass along with my weight

· I work hard for the things I want

· I’m a happy person with the occasional kick in the nuts

· I don’t do religion

· I don’t do politics

· I think pocket lint is funny

· im a 20 something

· im a Midnight Marauder

· i know alot of people

· Daily showers bug me

· im a Photographer :)

· im a thinker

· i can be difficult

· i can be stubborn

· i can be cold hearted

target is my domain

i built my own credit

i love grittiness in art form

I hate the ‘standards’ that play a role in my life

I’m simple

I’m flamboyant. but i def love vagina..

I’m another statistic

I’m fascinated with schizophrenia and other mental disorders

My hands are for keyboards and lovin

I buy shit to fill empty spaces that re-occur

I’ve come a long way in 20 yrs

I’m diverse

The killers hit closest to home

i fucking love music

i cant swim

im a character

its fun to read back on this shit because i really dont know myself that well when it comes to things about me. haha its funny when someone tells someone about me. infront of me..and im like damn! thats SO true! hahaah. well i felt kinda stupid one time bcause well....some of this shit i should just know! haha

so now i jot it and then post it to my tumblr

http://drtydan.tumblr.com/post/79890560/fact-of-the-matter-is

it feels good to go back and read them and just...remember the origin of all of those entries..

so you want to know something that means a Million to me?

people look at me so screw faced when i say that out loud..

really though?

get over it. life is so...life. its easy. you just fucking live..

tragedies and happiness are just more parts that make 'life' what it is..

'life' is so damned overrated. people take shit soooo seriously! haha

it sucks..i did at one point and fuck that. i aint going back. haha i felt so locked up in everything that i needed an escape...

i go to new york for a week and 7 months down the line..im still speechless of the experience..

liberating doesnt even touch on it..

and not to quote drop but.. its from fight club..

it was in the beginning.."And then, something happened. I let go. Lost in oblivion. Dark and
silent and complete. I found freedom. Losing all hope was freedom."

that quote has allllllways followed me though my life since i seen the movie the 2nd time. haha theres a MILLION quotes in that flick that follow..but that one is the most relevant at that time..

i lost all hope and i booked a one man trip to the big apple. 'the city that'll make or break you' it isnt what it sounds like..i got called crazy for the month before and months after it..look man... to be able to go out there and just live my life for a week.. interacting with unknowns..

dude. i fckn do that out here almost on a nightly basis when not on the clock..but here its 'reality' and when reality is a bitch then you gotta get out! i was fckn depressed!

hahaha im Never fckn going back!!!!!!

i have one scar in my life and i appreciate it..but ill never appreciate the cause of it.

i am whom i want to be now and to think ive reached that at this age?

fckit!

im good. man. life is ahead of me now.. always has been. but im done caring about the future.. 'the future freaks me out'

the future just isnt as important as whats going on right now. im gonna sound like a 40 year old but ill be damned if it aint true!

if your too busy worrying about the future then before you know it, it'll be too late to turn around and enjoy everything.

Damnit i love everything right now. and for the ones that dont...

gah..if i could just be you for a week and fckn Let go? put some fuckit in your system? then id be Alll over it! because stressing shit just isnt worth it..

-yeah thats easy to say coming from you- well it is..but fck you if you want to take away what i Have struggled for. get off it. because of all the struggles that i have endured and Watched other go though. i know what and how to do things. and everyones different. for sure

and playing allll this shit by ear? is perfect for me. im the freespirit that i want to be..the free spirit that i wish everyone around me was..just for the sake of having unbiased fun...

idk man. im sure im wrong about all of this to someone..but thats fine. disagreements are healthy.

everything is good.

my mind is racing a million right now and alls i want is to call a fly honey before i go to bed so i can say my goodnights only to wake up and text her in the morning. HAHAHAHAHA

fckit baby!

its 1230 on the dot..

im definitely headin out like sour crout..

im glad i started this blog.. i still haev SO much more to say and to hold back..

so until next time?

thank you for reading. yoru amazing. and ily

im happy

I'm SO Ready!

So ready for life yanno.
I mean its happening right in front of me right damn now. And I'm in NOO hurry for anything (the future freaks me out)..
I'm just straight up ready. And I'm so damned tired of hearing that I can have whatever I want.
Materialistically. Speaking, hella. I'm in control. Shit. I get myself whatever the hell I want, simply because I work hard for the nice things that I buy. That's simple.
But as far as....other shit.. Like a companion.. Its stupid. I can fight for someones interest, but shit yanno. Haha if theyr not interested then its simple.
Move on. Right?
Nah, its Never that easy.. If it were that easy, then the person wasn't worth the effort in the first place right? Haha yeah. Fckit baby
So hmm. Where am I.

I'm currently on some 20 and invincible. Playin life by ear, whatever happens happens.
Totally on some o7 shit, for sure. And that's where I like it...but the only downer to that is:
Its lonely at the top... And that's metaphorically speaking of course.. Don't get it?
Think about it... I have everything I need in life, but a preferred companion to share my successes with. It and it only bugs me because I have experienced life in that state and I loved it.. It was euphoric in a sense. But all that's over now. And the day is April 18th, 2009. A Saturday.. At 11:01pm and I'm currently walking into ash leif and chels apartment.. Its cool to see them doin alright on their own. Fckn radd. And now I have a 3rd sanctuary.

So yeah! I guess I've outletted. All in like 20 min from my cool Blackberry Bold :)

the month is april

in the best year of my life.
and guess what?
i Dont really k now.
one things for sure.
im not gona sulk. haha
i work at a pretty good job. and im fucking it up by being the scatterbrain that i am.
it sucks to think i may lose this job before i really get to show them how much of a help i Can be. idk man
i make iiight money thats for sure. and im pretty damned happy in life.
and then when awesome shit occurs, i have to be reminded that im alone. everyone has someone.

i dont need ANYbody. not you either. but ill be damned if i dont prefer someone to share my happiness and success with.
blah.

so yeah! this is an update of where i stand as of 4/16/09
sofar the fastest year ever eh.

i cant wait to someday look back at this shit and just be like damn..
im a fan of nostalgia.

sometimes you just need to vent?

but i really dont want to..
one shouldnt vent when not in the best of moods because then your thoughts will inevitably have a depressing overtone.
and thats not what i want right now..

life is cool right now. its the 9-5er with the extra frillz like a great surrounding of people.
yanno?

but nights are a Bitch. haha
i stay around folks as long as i can. but there comes a time where you just gotta go home..haha thats where i live.
haha shit..
i am now watching the godfather...
i think this movie is my new fightclub..

its just a movie that i can watch and think about the things Missing from my life..
haha its a shame that i do it.

actually. no
fuckit. haha
it was taking that tone again!

dude.
im cool.
im layin here. watchin the godfather.
talking shit to my cat, and thinkin about rereading the long halloween.

its so fckn amazing man.
its how harvey dent became 2 face.. UGH! SO GOOD!
AND THE BATTLE BETWEEN THE MARONI VS THE FALCONES!!!!!
fuuuccckkk! the relationships and drama in that story are amaazing!
and then theres a sequal!

SOOOOOOOO GOOD!




so im pretty fckn distracted.
and i dont like it.

WEHHSDKJLKJHXCVKEROOQIPUQOPIUOSDLKJCVMN,,NVER;
my blogs arent cool anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
but ive realized that i dont have too much to look forward to. hahaha
i fckn have everything!
except a companion.

but i fck going into that.

my phone is perfect..haha its interesting. im actually Still comPLETELY satisfied with my phone.
haha damnit.
everything in my room is...cool.
i dont need anything.

i have a new camera and the picture game has improved. haha i havent shot in a few weeks..but i just havent had the 'itch' haha i havent spotted anything thats a Must shot!
so ultimately..
bleh.
somebody marry me already.
hahahaha i love saying that!
i get the same reactions everytime! 'woow' 'hahaha pfff' 'haha your stupid fool'
haha but fuck son hahhaaha.

i have so much on my mind but nthn i want to speak about! haha
maybe im headed back to my demon days? nah nahh. haha jkish.







































i need smthn new.i have issues standing still

i am a patient person

i am patient so that i will receive the things that i feel i deserve in life..
i was patient to find the one that made me happiest.
and everything was perfect.
everything about it.her.us
the struggles only gave it all a reason..
i never thought id have to watch her be happy with someone else bcause i thought that i made her happiest...
it hurts so goddamn bad to be wrong.
ill never be good enough.
its so crazy man.
its depressing in so many ways..
why am i not worth the effort.
i try so hard to be different. and just..right.
but its wrong man.
im not ever going to change who i am and
that can only mean that ill remain the Resistible.
the one worth letting go.
the best friend one could ask for.
Danny Ray

why arent I worth fighting for?
worth being in love with

it sucks to realize

How Truely alone you really are.....it sucks because I don't think ill ever find someone
Whom is into me and the slow boring life that I live...
Tonight I go on mu routine drive to the "view" of vegas. Up on los feliz..
And 20 minutes into it I realized how stupidly lame it is to be at such a spot alone..
I instantly turned on my car and drove home...
I hate that about myself, but not enough to change it...
I still like whom I am...it just isn't good enough :(
I'm now watching the godfather before I call it a night with my folie a deux cd..
And it just sucks to realize that no one out there prefers...
Me!

i love.

who the fuck i am!
god!
i wish there were more of me...
JUST THE FUCK KIDDING!!!!!!!
man...
my life is so cool..
fuck it!
theres alot of bullshit that occurs,
but everyday is a new day and everyday not spent in the obituaries is a good day! haha
but anyways...

i wish i worked at at&t

for me giving up's way harder than trying

its a great quote man.
kanye IS an icon..
fck the denyers...
ive nthn to say here...
last night was revolutionary..
it felt like a scene out of a film..but the outcome was all too reality..
thats what sucks about hollywood and reality.
theres a helluva fine line..
and sometimes you just wish it(life) would go the way of the fantasy..
after last night man..
we should be together.

but thats so far fetched. and im not dwelling anymore! im not
but it'd just be nice.. yanno?

i learned early in life that 'life isnt fair, deal with it'
and ive been dealin man.
i deal!
but shit.
cut me some slack

----------------
Now playing: Q-Tip - Move
via FoxyTunes

OMFG! my 21st birthday will consist of

* my 2nd visit to NY

* Being 21

* Jet Blue


* the Jane



ive got alot more planning to do.
but this is a start as of today!

----------------
Now playing: Nas - Halftime
via FoxyTunes

tumblr is SO much cooler

for my latest sense of blogginnn

i can just insert shit in there. hahaha and it'll toootaly look how i want it!

----------------
Now playing: The Cool Kids - Fresher Than You
via FoxyTunes

sometimes i just want to say

"Fuck what you know. You need to forget about what you know, that's your problem. Forget about what you think you know about life, about friendship, and especially about you and me"

because seriously....
im in control
fuck.you
I can change the person you thought you knew. in a flip.
nthns a front if you know who you are and who you can be.

you are now my man on the mooni

why not..
you can tell anything to the man on the moon because whelp...its a whole different world that no one is a part of.
and that is what you are.
my fair blogger.
yanno?
im so tired of everything having to matter..yanno?
im finally on my nthn matters campaign and i just wish i werent aloneish..
but then at the same time..theres alot of things that i do, that no one else seems to think they can do..like explore a big city alone.

anyways. this isnt about me.
oh wait! it is.

so lets talk about me..
fuck you.
hahaha jk.


ive become such a monster yoe.
i kinda like it. but at the same time. id much rather be the innocent one that i was a few years ago..
now im just a know it all with manipulative urges.
but then at the same time.
i dont care, fuck it. haha this is me now. and nthn lasts forever.
besides! i believe im doing perfectly fine. aside from the constant self conflict that i have going on over certainX <--totally cut myself off! ~)
done.

so anyways..
thank you for listening

Carltons Log: 1-13-09

im singing my heartout to fckn camisado right now america and through the night i have grown to realiize thaat...

ive actually grown up a little bit in the last year baby!
hahaha lets seee...
1-20-08

annd
30 minutes ago

HAHAAHHAHA dont EVIN hate!!! hahahahaa
nah heres something that showed a bit of age

that picture is like one of those obituary pictures n shit..
hahaha 'in memory of' type shit
hhaha but its all good. i hold tha

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Now playing: Kid Cudi - Pillow Talk
via FoxyTunest pic pretty high too.

so anyways man...

FUUCK haha maaann....im so glad i made the decision to drink that night..
new years 1


i was so funny.. haha and its funny because i feel pretty funny sober, but i wont give myself that credit. haha but that video..haha shiit! it never gets old!
idk..i wont be doin that again for a while. prolly not that extreme til september. and thats when i hit 21 haha. TONIGHT! WERE GETTIN FUUCKED UP! but until then..ill keeps it casual n what not..


so anyways. i came into this blog to speak on how ive grown in the last year..
and i dnt really want to talk about it anymore..haha fck me right!
but i will tell ya..
i think after all the bullshit i went thru last year...this year sofar 13 days deep.
ive just realized that...
fuck..life  is so cool.
i mean. ive always known it. i feel like a gdamn professional at it..
but last year i really lived. i loved. and i lost.
and now man. im just sitting back waiting for whats next. like i was doing beFore last year. haha so im back on some o7 shit....
look at my slang..its nasty and i should have my mout' washed out with soap.
but i like it..haha i tualk like im from ny lately..im a poser i guess. but fuck it.
thats where i want to be! so what if im practicing my slang and accent. be over it! like i am.
so yeh...

ive gone from taking pictures of


too taking pics of

with a little bit of skill


but this isnt a showcase..
maybe i should turn it into one.. haha i shot wellover 10k pictures last year..prolly edited like 5% of that..but thats how it is baby! haha

soo........................................what to talk about? haha

friday: 1-16-09
if ccity doesnt get boughten by an outsider, then they bring the liquidators in and im out a job and out a WHOLE group of folks i consider family...
thats the part that bothers me..
but what can i do yanno? haha we'll see though. anything can happen baby

soo yeh...ive got a fact sheet running that im not sure where to post.
i like it..it keeps me reminded of...me! haha because i forget certain things about me that people already know, but i never remember to be able to tell..
asif that made any sense..

gah..
i wish i were an uber public person...
like..a person to interview yanno? haha
im curious as to what i would say in an interview, also what theyd ask..but those are all typical questions depending on the topic..
like this

and


now..im SURE he was higher than gas prices in that first one...but shit..it was just interesting..
and in the 2nd one..was amazing to ME because...just because! it seemed like a gimmick to be dickheaded and funny..but thats just what he did!
and? haha the end!

not everything needs a point...

so a year ago..this is where i was


thats so fucked...
how things just change. and people fade haha

its cool to see i recognized it though.
asof: 1-13-09. these be my issues

*im broke :)
*i need more money
*i may be jobless really soon
*nobodies hiring because the economy is disgustingly fucked
*im lonely
*im 1500 in debt to amex. but thats ok..
*my tax return isnt what i want it to be
*im lonely
*i want a canon 40d
*my car isnt what it was in 06 and i dont want to pay a million dollers to ma er run that way
*i still dont comPletely consider myself a photographer for some reason
*im starting to feel like a low life. but not there yet
*im lonely
*** and of all of those listed..only a few of them are REAL problems***

i could be dead though right?
so breathing makes all of that irrelevant

deeze nuts biatch :)
sooooo
im a proud owner of a

for a few months now. and his phone is definitely superior.
and ive a small gathering built around the bb messenger. haha i fckn love that shit..its amazing. idk why..

i want to move to brooklyn, and work in manhatten :/
but my time will come...i had the talk with my mudder a few nights ago..
it sucks because now its out that i wont be going anywhere until theyr gone..and i never EVER want that day to come...
i just dont man..but life is life
and ill be starting a new one if im not satisfied with the nonsense going on out here.
if i could i would pack up and leave right now for 6 months.
grow some homesickness, and be able to really start fresh.
alll i have out here is family..and thats my fault, but alls i Want is a companion..but i wont go into a lonely soliloquy because thats lame and totally not worth typing about right now..

its 230 am and everyone is knocked out but me...
this is nightly for me and its pretty bad..
but interesting.
i use to be able to live inside of my head, and the silence would never get to me.
and now...im my own worst enemy again..next to someone else.

so im into the Darkish photography
and then theres:

i love that shit...haha bigtime fan of that one..
idk why..it give it a grittier description to me..
and im a bigger fan of grit then glam..
but thats just the 'period that im in' hahahaha
dont get me wrong!!!!! im not STUCK in oblivion right now.. just into the feeling and output of it

TOYS!!!!!! haha theyre so sick...if i could get paid to do action scenes with toys..i think i would be into that. haha its different yanno?
sheesh! i make whole stories with them shits!
hence:

:)

thats the pic taken by a lifeless prick thats overly sarcastic and barely optimistic. hahahah WOW that was mad gay.

so yeah....
Kid Cudi is pretty.Dope
im thinkin maybe him and the cool kids need to do a collab..haha
both of them are in my january 13th playlist that i made spacifically for this blog..
id hella kick it with all 3 of them suckas.
not take pics though..
fck takin pics of ppl. haha i still do it though..sometimes
haha especially in situations like these..
christmas morning -Circa o8-


we got him a fckn du-rag

HAHAHAHAHHAAH CLASSIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and then theres the action shots..

thats almost background material...but not

fck i love taking pictures..when i feel it.
sometimes i dont even feel it for a month.
i think im gonna leave my camera at home next time i go to new york...
i seemed too touristy and that wasnt my intention..haha unless i have my 40d..
WHEW! that bitch is a beast!

soo hmm..
it is now 3:25 am
and ive been mad bullshittin :)
haha this is a nightly thing for me..even when i work at 9....
its somewhat of a shame..but i really do have an issue with not seeing the full potential of my time here..
i dont need 8 hrs of sleep..cuz thats just 3 hrs i could have been up to relieve someone of a sleepless night, or someone with an emergency question that only i can answer!!!!!!! hahahaha ok not that extreme..but sometimes it coems in handy being up this late and it doesnt happen often. but folks should always know that im somewhere around..
call me the watcher..haha
 or even the godfather..haha jkjk.

i dont want to end this b.loogggyy
i want to provide like an hrs worth of reading material and enlightenment because my last few blogs havent been up to par with what i used to provide, and i learn of certain fans like my maan phil. haha whom looks forward to my blogs..
im not much of a blog reader because theyre just not as interesting or...idk! i just dont care! haha but ive come to learn that i can be a mysterious person at times? or idk! folks are just as curious as i am as to whats going on in my mind..
my scatterbrained way of life is so..................
different! haha it worries me at times because it doesnt seem suitable for todays way of life..but at the same time i kinda love it because it all comes together in one way or another....
sometimes, most of the times it doesnt. but when it comes to helping a fellow peer. im on top of it!
ive done 18 years of watching man, and 2 of living...
i think high school is just a pre-req to life...finish 12 years and then start life. i swear! haha its such bullshit! i mean yeah! thats where the education takes place. but your so not your own person until you dont have the obligations that school provides....
but ill be damned if i support dropping out. fuck that! haha finishing school is a must just because....fck an explanation! it just is bitch! hahhhaha jkjk..
but really. in the last 2 years....i have really experienced life and theres SO much more ahead of me...im ready for it all to be behind me, but at the same time. im good where i am. haha
the cure to growing older?
live in the moment! and not anywhere near the future because that shits more of a mystery then how the hell bush 'ran' this country for 8 years
but im not gonna get philosophical n shit, and that wasnt the cure to growing older...i cant really explain it...im just doing it...staying young.
ill be damned if i dont have bills and drama, and am gona turn around and BE 20...
nah baby. i still geek out to things that make me happy. like





i geek OUT to some jive talk maaan. but im sayin! you just gonna play me the low tip? thats some coold shit fuzz.

HAHAHA wit cho electric boogie ass.
hahaha walk like you got clap!! hahahah
FUUUCK!


haha speakin of the elctric boogie..

HAHA THATS MY SHIIIIT!!!

FUUCK!! ahha my heart Beats to the old schooL!

THEE GRANDMASTERR!

haha but the point of all the nonsense i just posted..
i just wanted to show you guies SOME of the shit that i geek out thats my geekout face..hahaha wiith caption! hahaa so when you see that face..then something has JUST hit me and ill be sure to pick smthn up from it :) haha i try to base my life off of the good ol things/days...
cuz times were GOOD baby...i didnt get to experience any of it, but i was still born into it...

ok man....idk if i have more junk to throw you guies...so im not gonna fake the funk ;)its now 405 am..
alrighty then my fellow americans..
til next time! which i never know, and neither do you! but its nice when you speak up! haha.
ill keep ya's posted! thanks you for your time annd be safe n stuff. nighty





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Now playing: Kid Cudi - Pillow Talk
via FoxyTunes

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Now playing: Kid Cudi - Pillow Talk
via FoxyTunes

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Now playing: The Aquabats - super rad
via FoxyTunes

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Now playing: The Aquabats - my skateboard
via FoxyTunes