August 26th, 2007....

what
a
fuckin.day..
----------------
Now playing: Motion City Soundtrack - Everything is Alright
via FoxyTunes   

and i have no one to blame..but myself i guess...
somehow..its my fault.
i'd rather not blame anyone else for the fact that...
fuck it

fuck today
tonight
and last night

im discouraged, distraught, heartbroken, disgusted,upset. appetiteless..
just fucked up.

at one point..i couldnt evin hold my head up anymore..
i said to hell with it. why hold your head up when theres someone out there just Waiting for the opportunity to SHOOT YOU DOWN
fuck the police.
not all..just the ones i dont know, and the ones that have something against me..somehow.

i dont evin wana talk about it..it actually makes my stomach hurt when i do..
last night the shit made me naseuated and i lost my appetite..so all i will tell you is that i was pulled over on my way home from carls jr, and given a ticket for not coming to a complete stop at an intersection..which I know i did, and james and ridge also..
but in this Fucked up world..what can i do about that? thats Actually worth it in the end? i'd rather not fight the -authority- that only causes stress, and the outcome in the end..If successful..isnt worth all the bs i'd have to go thru...

so yes im saying, im taking what was given to me, and i'll pay for that..
2 tickets in 2 weeks..wtf..ill just shake it off..somehow i deserve it..

i love my cat..in the midst of all this -outlet-*typing* she jumps on my lap and crawls up my chest
and i think she can tell whats goin on.....she purs right in my ear..

so yeah..enough with the gay scene..

work sucks right now..
i suck at it lately.


i'd like to crawl under a rock and be inexistant right now..
it would be SO nice...
i'd come out in like a year?
fresh, ready for the garbage i live in, and almost 20..haha

20..totally skipping 19..that last -teenaged- year.
the one that doesnt mean shit. haha SO thrilled..WHOLLOPS!






















so i was helping this lady, the other day. and she was purchasing a printer for her publications..
she actually has books out.. and somewhere in the conversation while circling and filling out her rebate info..i tell her i do a little bit of writing..
because i do! she asked what kind. i told her the pointless kind. and such n such, and she said thats cool and she gave me some advice on that..be detailed because if its still around in about 20 years..the fact that my shits Boring and uninteresting and love-drought. it'll still enlighten folks of how shit was back in o7..hahaha
it helped! customer advice sucks soo bad lately..
and she Also pointed out to me that my passion is life..which megan did a while back but it didnt effect me like it did coming from someone whom didnt know much about me..
which comforts me with the fact that i dont have BIGGER and BETTER ambitions to be a -somebody-
i like who i am. i just dont like where im at anymore..


i need a girlfriend..



my spirit is broken, my morale is low, and i start school this week.

life was so..Good a few weeks ago..




im not depressed yet america.

im addressing america asif they'll be reading this a day from now..

im letting this blog be public for a day..
yi know..show you that evin I..can be broken.

but you'll never know it..
cuz ill never show it =] ..

read while you can..

bye

stay (strong) for me

oh geeze! hes blogging again..

theres NO tellin how long this'll be!
haha
nah..it shouldnt be long..i dont have much to talk about..
im just laying here next to kitty kitty..
its 1:13 am..i took 3 naps today im SO tired and now when it comes time to call it a night..
i cant fall asleep..i hate my sleeping habits..but shit..i live
haha

so anyways.. i gots some good music playin up there..the song black maybe..it means alot. and around the world is aMAZING..haha i got becca into daft..
shes awesome..we have aMAZING talks some nights. ahha and other nights..idk what goes on..random n stuff, i love it

yeh.. so i work at 830..and im hopin im able to sleep by 2..its 1:31
james neil n ridge are in my kitchen right now..eatin del taco.
those are my boys man. its too bad neil didnt get to go to fish lake this year..next year though. ahha man..im hella tired..physically.
but mentally im ready to go!
shit im livin good..broke n stuff but still havin fun doin whatever i do!

im still missin people..and theres some new ppl i wana hang out with..get a little closer to..im workin on that though.
i seen blaine on friday! that was pretty awesome, 'ts good to see a good friend doin good for themselves. and i talked to tori today via aim.
her n jimmy ACTUALLY DID IT!!! they moved to cali..haha im proud of them..alotta..if not everybody i told what they were up to they gave me that look of doubt, or just straight out said 'yeah right!' and there there now..they went on the 1st. im happy for them! haha i'd like to find soemthin new..but im stuck here for a little while. haha
my pops said i cant go nowhere til hes gone..so thats that, and i'd MUCH rather wait 20 years to try somethin new if that means they'd be around longer..
those 2 are my life man..its amazing the older i get the closer we get..fuck man.
these last couple years have been something else for me..and theyre doing the best job ive ever seen parents do..without production..haha (cosbys, runs house) so yeah..
life is good..all around i'd say.
morgan got her new vehicle n stuff, and shes headed back to the -reen- on thursday..im proud of her for workin so hard this summer..stayin on top of shit.
its good to see ppl come up! haha i said that earlier..

-i love everything about you that hurts, so leme see ya moves, leme see ya mooves-
fall out boy..
that pete wentz..haha

so yeah....1:43
and where am i..im laying in my bed..with work at 830 and then HOPEFULLYYY go pick up my blackberry pearl....UGH 90 doller phone bill if the shit goes thru man..
so that'd be 175 into the car, 100 into the savings, and 45 into the phone..each check! and then taxex!!!! WTFFF
thats if i work 60 hrs too..haha if i work 80..taxes will strangle me owell...
its all good..i could be where i was prior to june..
lookin like a 'bum-ass-negro' not doin anything but -livin- n whatnot..haha owell

this cartel cd is..pretty damnd good. that will pugh? i think? good ass pipes that kid has..hahaha i wana do somethin like band in a bubble... i'd call it 'dan in a bubble' HAHAH so orig!
yeh..i wish i were big and famo..i'd so live here..pay off my car and then throw that shit in the retirement or something..UGH im so ready for retirement..hahahaha shit!

man0man..im so tired..and theres 5 minutes left til 2am..will i be able to sleep?
kitty kitty sure as shit isnt having a problem..FUCK i wish i were born a cat..ahhahaha i say a cat cuz there pretty damnd cool..dogs..there lives arent as good as cats i dont think..idk im not gona go into a whole discussion bout that. ahha

school starts soon..
eng 2 and environmental.. and sofar im stickin with photography..for me. to hell with a career..ive never known what i wana be, and i like where im at now. so the way i see it..in the future ill hopefully doing something related to what im doin now, and getting paid Well..i dont Need a million dollers a year..that'd be awesome. but ive never had ambitions to be that BIG SUCCESSFUL CEO OF HIS OWN COMPANY/BUSINESS..no man..ive always wanted to just be me..and me is being who i turn out to be..what happens happens. im sorry if that isnt good enough for most of you..actually im not sorry..its whatev. haha im only Somewhat out to please you. (you being: the public) so yeah..
electronics retail is what i like..customer service is good for me because i get to be me with little stipulations.. not a salesman.. i say im too real, and i wouldnt like having to sell something i think is somewhat bogus (city advantage, the replacement plan is cool though) but yeah..
i like where i am, with little thought about changing positions..
and in the future..i'd like to see myself doing something related to what i do now..just better? and better just meaning higher pay, good benefits, full-time, and ok room for advancement..
which brings me back to the name i had about a month ago..'civilian'
to me..that fits me perfect..


ci·vil·ian (s---v--l'y?n) Pronunciation Key
n.

1. A person following the pursuits of civil life, especially one who is not an active member of the military, the police, or a belligerent group.

i like it.. but My personal definition..which isnt much diff from that one..

Civilian: an Individual

the end

HHAHAAHHAHH so yeah...
i have a MUTHAFUCKIN CAVITY
FUCKIN A!!!!!
i brush!!!!
i floss sometimes!!
i scrape my tongue with the tongue cleaner!!
and i definitely listerine it up!
but i do eat too much candy..
so by 50 i'll have a mouth full of fillings.....
or maybe dentures..
cuz candy is just too good to me. hahah damn..thats a shame

so its now 2:09..my eyes burn..i think i could prolly sleep now..
BUTT..
i like outletting..
just talking to -the people-
cuz hell 4582 total blog views..
19 this week..

SOMEbodys reading, yi know? i do have preferred readers n all that but it goes further than that. haha
thank you for reading..im glad i have your interest...

im an interesting person..

















im doin good.
how bout you?

thank you for reading..

you'll see/hear from me soon!

bye













ps..


im pretty sure its not a peoples favorite..
being that it hasnt gotten a reaction like previous doings..
but this one i like..and i feel it comes off as i dont like working? i do america.
but im doin alot of it..i wana say its an addiction? but that isnt it..
i just like getting paid!
<3

August 11, 2007 12:46 am..

and where am I?
im working tomorrow at 10..
til 7 n shit
blah..i need more money.
i wana work at cingular..
owell..so i think..
im just gona go to school for photography..
for my own personal use..
i guess so i can have something in the end?
not for the ppl though..
the people want a bachelors
I never evin planned on continuing school after hs.
so im doin ok where i am now.
and in the end..
ill be more educated in photography
and start a career?
idk
prolly not.
we'll see where im at eah?

anyways..
its 12:51 now and my eyes burn..
and nothing is on my mind..not evin life
just me sitin here, listenin to daft punk...
wishing i didnt have to work tomorrow..
but i need the hrs..so fck it all right! 'you only live once'
so ill get little sleep here haha wake up at 9
work til 7
maybe come home..somehow end up staying up all night
then im off sunday..
but my day offs arent those sleep in days..haha they start good..but never end up right..
and then work monday..
bills nigga.
hahaahha anyways
its all good tho...i aint complainin
i like having an income, and i like my job..crazy shit huh!?
haha




k its 1:02 im loading music
and i cant do this tonight..
my eyes burn..badly. haha

night kids