Sunday, April 19, 2009

I'm SO Ready!

So ready for life yanno.
I mean its happening right in front of me right damn now. And I'm in NOO hurry for anything (the future freaks me out)..
I'm just straight up ready. And I'm so damned tired of hearing that I can have whatever I want.
Materialistically. Speaking, hella. I'm in control. Shit. I get myself whatever the hell I want, simply because I work hard for the nice things that I buy. That's simple.
But as far as....other shit.. Like a companion.. Its stupid. I can fight for someones interest, but shit yanno. Haha if theyr not interested then its simple.
Move on. Right?
Nah, its Never that easy.. If it were that easy, then the person wasn't worth the effort in the first place right? Haha yeah. Fckit baby
So hmm. Where am I.

I'm currently on some 20 and invincible. Playin life by ear, whatever happens happens.
Totally on some o7 shit, for sure. And that's where I like it...but the only downer to that is:
Its lonely at the top... And that's metaphorically speaking of course.. Don't get it?
Think about it... I have everything I need in life, but a preferred companion to share my successes with. It and it only bugs me because I have experienced life in that state and I loved it.. It was euphoric in a sense. But all that's over now. And the day is April 18th, 2009. A Saturday.. At 11:01pm and I'm currently walking into ash leif and chels apartment.. Its cool to see them doin alright on their own. Fckn radd. And now I have a 3rd sanctuary.

So yeah! I guess I've outletted. All in like 20 min from my cool Blackberry Bold :)

Thursday, April 16, 2009

the month is april

in the best year of my life.
and guess what?
i Dont really k now.
one things for sure.
im not gona sulk. haha
i work at a pretty good job. and im fucking it up by being the scatterbrain that i am.
it sucks to think i may lose this job before i really get to show them how much of a help i Can be. idk man
i make iiight money thats for sure. and im pretty damned happy in life.
and then when awesome shit occurs, i have to be reminded that im alone. everyone has someone.

i dont need ANYbody. not you either. but ill be damned if i dont prefer someone to share my happiness and success with.

so yeah! this is an update of where i stand as of 4/16/09
sofar the fastest year ever eh.

i cant wait to someday look back at this shit and just be like damn..
im a fan of nostalgia.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

sometimes you just need to vent?

but i really dont want to..
one shouldnt vent when not in the best of moods because then your thoughts will inevitably have a depressing overtone.
and thats not what i want right now..

life is cool right now. its the 9-5er with the extra frillz like a great surrounding of people.

but nights are a Bitch. haha
i stay around folks as long as i can. but there comes a time where you just gotta go home..haha thats where i live.
haha shit..
i am now watching the godfather...
i think this movie is my new fightclub..

its just a movie that i can watch and think about the things Missing from my life..
haha its a shame that i do it.

actually. no
fuckit. haha
it was taking that tone again!

im cool.
im layin here. watchin the godfather.
talking shit to my cat, and thinkin about rereading the long halloween.
its so fckn amazing man.
its how harvey dent became 2 face.. UGH! SO GOOD!
fuuuccckkk! the relationships and drama in that story are amaazing!
and then theres a sequal!

so im pretty fckn distracted.
and i dont like it.

my blogs arent cool anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
but ive realized that i dont have too much to look forward to. hahaha
i fckn have everything!
except a companion.

but i fck going into that.

my phone is perfect..haha its interesting. im actually Still comPLETELY satisfied with my phone.
haha damnit.
everything in my room
i dont need anything.

i have a new camera and the picture game has improved. haha i havent shot in a few weeks..but i just havent had the 'itch' haha i havent spotted anything thats a Must shot!
so ultimately..
somebody marry me already.
hahahaha i love saying that!
i get the same reactions everytime! 'woow' 'hahaha pfff' 'haha your stupid fool'
haha but fuck son hahhaaha.

i have so much on my mind but nthn i want to speak about! haha
maybe im headed back to my demon days? nah nahh. haha jkish.

i need smthn new.i have issues standing still