UGH!

Dont tell a person that there a great Guy/Girl if your not willing to give them a chance yourself..

wth..

for just a day..maybe more..
i wish i could switch lives with someone thats less fortunate as me..
if you think that sounds-seems arrogant then you should click the back button about 3 times..
really though..i think it would help man..and plus im pretty unsatisfied with the way things are going at the moment
no negativity going on..just i want somethin different..altogether
im so..i dont know man..
that question..-hows life-
fuck..im alive aint i? thats all that counts..im so done with that question man..are you expecting me to make it seem asif everythings going deLightful?
well it is..im still alive and thats all that counts..as for the way things are going?
im over it

hows your life going?
i lied

please dont question me after reading this..
i promise im just fine. still. its just 426am and i dont know whats on my mind..
thank you
i love you

where am i?

i am here..
jobless with no clue what to do with myself..
while all of my friends are growing up..the right way
yes
your right.
if i werent so picky..then i could have a job Months ago..
but no..fuck that
yeah
to hell with that
im not settling for anything less than..
less than what you ask?
am i saying that im too good to work some places?
no
im saying that if i dont feel/think i'll enjoy working there in the future months
then fuck it. im not doing it
sorry. im against waking up and dreading going to work..feeling like im slaving..
sure i havent when i worked. but no
i want to feel happy to be where i am at for the shifts im working.
i want to be Happy and ok about putting in overtime..

i dont want your input on this one..

everyone needs something to hold on to..

for me..its the thought that someday..sometime..somehow..i will end up in new york..i dont care what you have to say for or against it..none of it will change the fact that the way things currently are..it just cant happen..theres so much here that i just cant leave yet..that i dont want to leave..but someday
someday..i will be ready..

hmmm

i dont hate liars, fakes, or haters
liars..its fun to watch them do it. and evin better to catch them in it.
what do they do? they play stupid or they backout. and its fun for me to watch..because i predict what there gona say, then do, and then there reaction...
my own personal pleasure..i thank those of you that lie to me..there aint many anymore because ive pretty much established that im pretty laid back and can handle what you throw at me.. but i do admire those that do..its kinda amazing..
theres a quote from abe lincoln that i ran into a LONG time ago and it stuck with me
"No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar." -Abe Lincoln
its brilliantly true! because thats how i catch every one that comes my way..if I keep track for you..then Ill know that your bullshittin.. its simple.
you cant bullshit a bullshitter. and trust me. i can bullshit..i do mildly but not SERIOUSLY. i have a few lies that are SERIOUS..more like one
and ive tested it..as long as you follow thru..then your FINE. ive told a select few what happened..and til this day..no one knows the truth..
thats alot of info to leak to the people...but its real..and im not holdin back in this one..anyways! yeah i think that now your conscious to that little snippit of info about what goes on in my mind..

moving on

fake ppl..WHEW your my favorite..when i say your..i dont mean ANYone in spacific. just those people that are fake..they dont know it..some do..they just see it as being nice..or sweet. and they think that they wont hesitate to start some shit..fakes..dont fake the funk..why front? no one is alone in this world..just be you. if people dont like you. then great! fuck em they may be missing out on a great genuine person if you were one. cuz if you try to be the Coolest person Ever all around..your gona get burned yo. fuck it. do You and you'll fall into your crowd. and when your in your crowd you shouldnt have to worry about things and you dont have to lie about how you Really feel about that person..
im rambling..
im confused with my words in that subject as of now..

Hating...i really dont have any haters..i mean..im SURE theres someone out there..but..i dont know about it..and i feel that i should be an example to those that stress over the things people do and say about them.. not saying that im perfect, just stating that i take criticizm as room for improvement

-what doesnt kill you, only makes you stronger..- think about it! if someone says some shit to or about you..whats bad about that? criticizm is good! get over it. if someone has negativity to say about you. what can you do about it? argue it, fight over/about it. or just dwell on it. how far/what good is that gona do you? NONE if you win the fight or whatever..then you feel great for a little bit..but if whatever they said was true..then after its all over n done..whatever they said..is still true. and THEN what!
they win..because your stressing over it all over again..
so what can you do in the BEGINNING..shit
improve. take what they say and use it against them..improve on whatever they had to say. dont fight it..if it isnt true, then have them prove whatever it is theyre stating or get a public opinion. that way if you think it isnt true..and others do..then take that and move on..asin either ignore it or make it better.
-what doesnt kill you, makes you stronger-
so whatever they have to say..sure as shit aint gona kill you man. therefore whatever they say negativly..you take that as motivation to improve and make it so they dont have shit to say.. i think im talking in circles now..

l8




so i came back..i have more to say


as for me! in other peoples minds..(the fact that i sugarcoat and think before i say therefore reformatting my words..) im fake. ive had a few approach me about that being fake. No..i think not player.
if your not a close friend of mine or one that i trust i can be real to and not worry about offending/hurting feelings.

then i speak easy. therefore i will tell you what you want to hear.
why do it!?
because i Really learned from my mistakes.. and some of them have been saying things i shouldnt have said to people that i dont know well enough/cant take the truth
and then i spend more time explaining my way out of what i said
when they could really just suck it up and take what i said as constructive criticizm.

thats why.. fuck it. a good percentage of the time.
i know what your gona say..yeeah
my home is in my head..
all day when im not talking..im running conversations thru my mind..analyzing what will happen if/when i said what

im tired of sitting thru ppl whining over what I said because they cant handle the fact that its True. read that closer.
i didnt say im tired of sitting thru ppl whining.
ill sit n listen to you and say what i have to say. i enjoy it because Everyone needs someone to talk to..its natural
BUT
if your talking..and you ask my opinion on something. and were not good enough friends for you to know that i WILL give it to you straight..
then im gona sugarcoat / reformat whatever i have to say so that you can swallow it and not end up WAAY off subject and asking me to explain what i said so that i can only back out of it and make you feel better.
eff that. its boring.

im here to listen on aim OFTEN. and oftenly friends come to me with issues or just to talk or most of the time..vent.

I-LOVE-IT. because im glad I can help.

cuz there are some people out there that feel they have no one to talk to.. and those are the ones that are in trouble..its a shame..they do pretty bad things..and just write about it. and then when everythings all said n done..only thing left is there journal/diary..

so anyways..im open wound..if you have something to say. ill listen. i dont judge
i just plain ass dont do it.. i dont try not to judge.. i just dont. i cant see someone any differently because they did/said something that doesnt abide by normal folks.. and when the time comes for my opinion on something..if im comfortable enough. then ill give it to you straight..and after ive done it. you ask questions behind my reason for saying what i said. and i'll give that to you straight. and the only thing left to do after that is run with it and do what you need to..which is improve..if you chose not to then thats your decision.. eventually you'll learn from your mistake if your making on in the process......




im completely off subject now and im hungry.
bye