August 26th, 2007....

what
a
fuckin.day..
----------------
Now playing: Motion City Soundtrack - Everything is Alright
via FoxyTunes   

and i have no one to blame..but myself i guess...
somehow..its my fault.
i'd rather not blame anyone else for the fact that...
fuck it

fuck today
tonight
and last night

im discouraged, distraught, heartbroken, disgusted,upset. appetiteless..
just fucked up.

at one point..i couldnt evin hold my head up anymore..
i said to hell with it. why hold your head up when theres someone out there just Waiting for the opportunity to SHOOT YOU DOWN
fuck the police.
not all..just the ones i dont know, and the ones that have something against me..somehow.

i dont evin wana talk about it..it actually makes my stomach hurt when i do..
last night the shit made me naseuated and i lost my appetite..so all i will tell you is that i was pulled over on my way home from carls jr, and given a ticket for not coming to a complete stop at an intersection..which I know i did, and james and ridge also..
but in this Fucked up world..what can i do about that? thats Actually worth it in the end? i'd rather not fight the -authority- that only causes stress, and the outcome in the end..If successful..isnt worth all the bs i'd have to go thru...

so yes im saying, im taking what was given to me, and i'll pay for that..
2 tickets in 2 weeks..wtf..ill just shake it off..somehow i deserve it..

i love my cat..in the midst of all this -outlet-*typing* she jumps on my lap and crawls up my chest
and i think she can tell whats goin on.....she purs right in my ear..

so yeah..enough with the gay scene..

work sucks right now..
i suck at it lately.


i'd like to crawl under a rock and be inexistant right now..
it would be SO nice...
i'd come out in like a year?
fresh, ready for the garbage i live in, and almost 20..haha

20..totally skipping 19..that last -teenaged- year.
the one that doesnt mean shit. haha SO thrilled..WHOLLOPS!






















so i was helping this lady, the other day. and she was purchasing a printer for her publications..
she actually has books out.. and somewhere in the conversation while circling and filling out her rebate info..i tell her i do a little bit of writing..
because i do! she asked what kind. i told her the pointless kind. and such n such, and she said thats cool and she gave me some advice on that..be detailed because if its still around in about 20 years..the fact that my shits Boring and uninteresting and love-drought. it'll still enlighten folks of how shit was back in o7..hahaha
it helped! customer advice sucks soo bad lately..
and she Also pointed out to me that my passion is life..which megan did a while back but it didnt effect me like it did coming from someone whom didnt know much about me..
which comforts me with the fact that i dont have BIGGER and BETTER ambitions to be a -somebody-
i like who i am. i just dont like where im at anymore..


i need a girlfriend..



my spirit is broken, my morale is low, and i start school this week.

life was so..Good a few weeks ago..




im not depressed yet america.

im addressing america asif they'll be reading this a day from now..

im letting this blog be public for a day..
yi know..show you that evin I..can be broken.

but you'll never know it..
cuz ill never show it =] ..

read while you can..

bye

stay (strong) for me