soo.. you wont see my (biological) mother at graduation

"My mother gave birth but she really never had me"
Your World / Common

because she doesnt deserve to go. let alone i would ACTUALLY be embarassed if anybody seen her. im not evin ashamed of her. she should be ashamed of herself. i couldnt understand how she thought she deserved to go to my graduation..what has she done to deserve it? i have friends that have been there for me more then her.friends that are more responsible then her. and shes like 50. man-o-man its hard keeping it real for me. because when i do it always tends to be a bit final. which is the the truth behind the saying "people cant handle the truth" i know its worded diff. fuck it. anyways when i tell her why i didnt want her to go to my graduation. my ass has a list
she doesnt deserve it
she should be ashamed of herself for evin expecting to get one
it would embarass me. the fact that people know who she is
shes not my mother. shes the woman that had me
annd. fuck that. she wouldnt show up anyways. she cant evin come over to my house when she says she will.
annd fuck that. i just dont want her to go. and no im not being a bitch about this. ive thought about this for this whole year. and i could have easily done the "right" thing and given her a ticket. knowing she wouldnt show up. but to hell with that. ive weighed it out and it didnt work out to her favor america.
there

like omg im SOOO excited about graduation

SO effing excited that it'll be the last time i see some of these people that ive known for 4 years.
hell.no im not excited. my excitement faded away in the 10th grade. when i REALLY met 80% of all my friends. how can you look forward to..prolly never seeing some of them again?
i mean yeah graduation..yeah. 12 looong years 12 years of hard work and stress and pain and some drama and alot of fun. yeah i can dig that..but thats that thats 12 we still have life to worry about. so graduations no phase for me..but instead im not excited about it..maybe it STILL hasnt hit me...but then its had 12 years up til NOW 12 hours away. to hit me and it hasnt. oh well though. things change from here huh..

so its 3:01am 05-20-06

im lieing here..silently typing on my coolest laptop ever with 90% batter life..
i think that im thinking..i hate doing it because it just makes me realize...stuff that i dont like to know about myself that i already know..so its more of a reminder. anyways.im in ultra tired mode right now..everything is moving fast around me..its kinda scary kinda weird..but very interesting ya know..its now like 3:05 last time i looked at the clock it was 301..the fan..its on the same speed as always..but i cant keep up with the blades..and the music..iono its faster then the norm..anyways.."this is your life, and its ending one minute at a time" and here i am. awake, and watching every minute pass. SOMETHING NEEDS TO HAPPEN! things are so boring...lately people ask me "so whats new.." ive come up with a cool answer.."same shit different words.." now im not complaining..its just..damn owell though i enjoy it i guess. one day it wont be there anymore (post june 16,2006) so why not enjoy the rest of it eh. 307 now and i feel that ive accomplished nothing by typing this..i doubt anybody will read this. hell its a waste of MY time and im the one typing it. damn that sounds depressing. oh well though im not im just bored. and slightly lonely? THATS a factor. yeh. so yeh. yeah. and yuh........so i have 3 posters in myself..that have me in them. i get called conceited for them. but i dont care. im not really into myself much i just decide to make these pictures of myself because i dont really wana bother someone with my dumb photoshop ideas for free. damn fool its 3 fuckin 10....and 86% battery life..this battery blows and i have nothing ahead of me. tomoro...later on today actually..i bet i sit in this house and rot. it gets kinda old, but then..one day i wont be able to do that anymore and ill prolly wish that i could do it again..fuck it.

if yer a parta tha group..u should read

Group, alright here it goes...... Whether you like it or not we are ALL like brothers and sisters. We fight like them. we joke like them. we hang around and do absolutly nothin like them. we tease like them. and we love each other like them. U know how i said this whole not so close anymore thing would blow over once the winter is over... well, i still totally believe that!!! It's just I miss hanging out with everyone on weekends and after skewl n shyt! I liked goin to the mall n bein bored or goin to the movies and then the park or goin bowling (which we havent done in yrs). Our friendship is great and somtimes its harder to see than others but i dont know what i would do if i didnt have you all as my friends. life would be boring, lame, and no drama!!! lol i'd hate it. So even if u r in an argument with someone ask your self is it really worth it. See past the emotion you're feeling at that moment. What we have is Great and it def. wont last forever. I mean we r graduatuing in a lil more than a yr. :( Trust me you dont want to be one of those people who looks bak in ten yrs. and goes omfg i actually stopped hangin out with him/her because of that tiny ass thing.

Overrated shit

-sex
-money
-valentines day
-love
-relationships
-fashion
-makeup
-females
-prom
-fast food
-ipod
-trends
-myspace
-advertisment
-grades
-unsats
-life
-HD (high definition)
-glam
-paris hilton
-jessica simpson
-blonde to black, back to blonde
-desperate house wives
-panda express
-fall out boy
-hollister
-abercrombie
-expensive clothing
-cliche's
-flava flav
-credit
-spinners
-television in vehicles
-super cell phones
-the 'N' word
-piracy
-having fun a certain way
-"partying"
-the government
-'bffe,bffl,bff period
-atlanta
-only dating a certain race,religion,type,size,etc.
-gangsta rap
-ipod
-nano technology
-prom
-child support
-college
-unneccissary discipline
-beef (feuds)
-american rights...
-sunglasses..that dont evin block the sun
-the spanish language
-emo
-metaphoric music
-consumers
-superhero movies
-hell. hollywood period
-myspace
-color contacts
-ringtones
-xbox 360
-halo
-counter strike
-Doonie n Burke/Doonies
-walmart...
-microsoft
-the word "cunt"
-napoleon dynamite


things i repeated. i repeated for a reason.